Anal Sex Techniques and Positions
We describe the most enjoyable anal sex techniques and show you the best anal sex positions.
I think it's obvious to everyone that anal sex was once surrounded by powerful taboo which the era of Internet pornography has probably brought to a close.
Video - Anal Sex
Yet having said that, I also wonder whether or not the popularity of anal porn – at least amongst men who watch porn on the Internet – is mirrored in any way whatsoever with the frequency that it's expressed in a relationship between man and woman.
In other words, maybe the truth is that there is still a taboo on anal sex, despite the fascination with which it seems to be regarded by many men.
It's hard to know, because people are notoriously dishonest when replying to questionnaires about their sex life.
Suffice it to say, that perhaps there are hundreds of thousands of men and women of all sexual orientations, experimenting with anal sex.
One of the reasons for this is that the anus is intimately associated with sexual pleasure – because the nerves which supply it are part of the sensitive nerve endings that take erotic sensations from the genitals to the brain.
Not only that, but the muscular system of the anus is closely related to the muscles of the pelvic area, and, as you may have observed on Internet videos showing close up of orgasm, in both men and women, the muscles of the penis, perineum and pelvic floor contract during orgasm – in fact, this is one of the main sources of erotic pleasure during the moment of orgasm.
So it's worth having a brief look at the reality of anal sex, and considering how it plays out in our modern world.
The first thing to note is the anal intercourse is actually the least common form of anal sex!
Indeed, one of the things that we know about anal sex is that penetration can be difficult, and sometimes painful.
Yet simply touching the anus, either with finger or even with tongue and lips, appears to be far more popular amongst lovers than anal penetration by an erect penis – although, it has to be said, penetration by a finger or a slim vibrator does appear to be increasingly popular.
Even heterosexual men, I think, have long disregarded the once common opinion (frequently expressed in the early days of society's exploration of anal sex) that anal sex indicated one was homosexual, and it is now regarded as simply another form of erotic stimulation.
What's fascinating is the fact that oral stimulation of the anus – known as rimming – has become so popular.
Many people found the idea disgusting in surveys conducted in the 1970s, but far fewer do so nowadays: perhaps this is an interesting reflection of how cultural standards can change when something as powerful as the Internet has an impact on people's behavior.
The second thing to note is that anal stimulation is actually not painful if it's done properly – and that includes intercourse.
One of the things that makes anal penetration painful is the fact that the anal muscles will always go into spasm when something is introduced into the anus – which stands to reason really, because the purpose of the anus is to prevent waste material escaping and to prevent material entering the body, opening only when a person wishes to discharge waste material.
So forcing a finger or any other object through the anal sphincter into the
rectum is a distinctly unpleasant and painful process – even with plenty of
lube, it's not particularly pleasant!
There's a subtle aspect to this which people often ignore – which is the fact that maximum anal pleasure is entirely dependent on there being no pain or physical trauma from the anal experience whatsoever – and that means that the receiving partner who is being penetrated or stimulated has the absolute right to stop the process at any time if they are either not aroused or not enjoying it.
Which leads us onto the next point: which is that anal sex can be very enjoyable even if you experienced it as uncomfortable in the past.
You see, desire alone is not sufficient to guarantee anal sex of any variety will be pleasurable.
There are plenty of other factors which can affect how person receives stimulation in this area, including their willingness to be aroused in this way, the intensity of caresses on the erogenous zone around the anus, and shame and embarrassment (or fear, indeed) about cleanliness.
The sphincters of the anal opening surround the external ring of muscle and an internal ring of muscle somewhat deeper inside the anal canal. The internal sphincter is controlled by the involuntary nervous system, and is the one that contracts tightly during fear or anxiety – in particular of course, anxiety round anal sex!
So simply paying attention to how the muscle changes spontaneously and in response to a person's mental state and physical behavior is more important consciously trying to relax.
But the fact of the matter is that if you are sufficiently determined – or perhaps I should say persistent – you will be able to learn to relax the muscle will, for the control of the autonomic or involuntary nervous system can always be overcome (just as it can the matter of breathing).
I think you might be able to get
greater control of the whole
dynamic around anal sex if you find a way to manifest your full brain and mind
For example, a finger focused on the nerve endings around the anal opening can be extremely pleasurable, but then so can the penetration of a suitably sized object. You can manifest success with anal penetration if you take it really slowly.
Once the object has penetrated the anal sphincter, there are other pleasures involved such as the feeling of pressure or massage of the internal surface of the rectum, and in particular in the case of men, the sensation of massage on the prostate.
And then of course the anal taboo adds to the psychological excitement of anal sex – for example, the most common reason for people not wanting to indulge in anal sex is the feeling that it is "dirty". But this can actually make the very act sexually exciting, simply because it feels raunchy and sleazy. The sense of indulging in something forbidden and perverse can be very exciting.
Clearly it's important for many people to incorporate anal play into their sex lives, and I think maybe if you're absolutely clear that you want to explore anal play then the best way to do so is to explore it in a cooperative relationship with a willing partner.
Equally, if the idea disgusts you, then there's no way that a partner should be pressing you to try it just for their own gratification.