Anal Sex Techniques and Positions
We describe the most enjoyable anal sex techniques and show you the best anal sex positions.
This is the most comprehensive, non-pornographic anal sex site on the internet. We have the advice and reliable information you need to make exploring anal sex safe and fun, and we have great quality pictures of a real life, attractive male and female couple, who both enjoy anal sex as a regular part of their sex lives, showing you all the variations of anal sex positions you can use.
And because this site is frank and open, but non-pornographic, couples who wish to explore anal sex as part of their sex lives can view the pictures together without fear of any offence. (We believe that the usual depiction of anal sex is as an act of sexual aggression against women.)
Our images all show anal sex as it ought to be enjoyed - as a part of a healthy sexual diet between two members of a loving couple.
An Amazing Solution To Delayed Ejaculation
Should you happen to experience delayed ejaculation, you can find out more about the condition here. Basically, when you cannot ejaculate during intercourse, you may wish to check if you have a physical or a psychological condition which is causing you ejaculatory problems. The condition is also known as retarded ejaculation.
The potential of the anus to arouse men during sexual play was brought home to me quite recently when I was receiving prostate massage, internally, in response to the suggestion that prostate massage might help the symptoms of benign prostate hyperplasia or BPH.
The therapist who was administering this treatment was male, and I was lying on my back naked on the table. Even though he was massaging in very intimate areas, I experienced no sexual arousal of any kind - at least, that is, until he started massaging my anus in preparation for finger penetration.
At this point my penis immediately began to grow erect, even though I was not feeling any emotional or psychological arousal: the simple fact is, that even a pseudo-medical touch my anus triggered an erection.
The fact that this can happen strongly suggests that those who wish to achieve a higher level of sexual pleasure, or investigate new ways of arousing their partners, be they men or women, should explore the erotic possibilities of the anus, a sensitive and erogenous area. It also occurs to me that this might represent a very good treatment for men with delayed ejaculation.
One of the big problems that such men experience is that they are not actually aroused during sexual activity, or lease not aroused enough to bring them to the point of orgasm and ejaculation.
It may be that by applying stimulation to the anus in the form of gentle massage, and perhaps even moving forward into anal penetration and prostate massage, their partners can offer them an extra route to higher arousal that will allow them to ejaculate more easily during intercourse.
If this were so, then one option for the man who experiences delayed ejaculation might be to find a small battery-operated vibrator on a cable, which he can insert into his anus, using plenty of lubrication, before sex begins.
Vibration of the machine against his prostate and through the anal region might provide a high enough level of stimulation to allow him to become more erotically aroused, and experience orgasm more easily.
Do men enjoy anal penetration?
And by that we do not mean, "do men enjoy penetrating a woman anally?" We mean: do men enjoy the sensation of being penetrated anally by a finger, a vibrator, or a sex toy? Get away for a moment, if you will, from the association of anal penetration with homosexuality.
(A false connection in any case, since many gay men never attempt anal penetration.) Think instead of the simple erotic pleasure that a man or woman may feel when an area of the body richly endowed with nerve endings and closely associated with sexual pleasure, receives stimulation from a loved and loving partner.
And then think a step further - a step which takes you inside the man's anus and into his rectum, where his highly sensitive prostate gland lies within reach of his partner's finger......and with that simple fact comes the possibility of a whole range of pleasure which a man may receive from having his prostate gland stimulated in the right way. Is this anal sex? Certainly! Is it homosexual? Indeed not!
Since we all have a right to take sexual pleasure from our bodies, this seems to us to be a legitimate way of getting sexual satisfaction. We'll come back to this idea later.....
For the moment, though, we have some essential warnings to offer you about anal sex. Clearly, the anus is potentially a route to infection, if shit happens to come into contact with the urethra or vagina - and the first of those applies equally to men and women.
So if you use a finger, or a sex toy, or a penis, to penetrate an anus, be it your own or someone else's, then you must avoid using the same object to penetrate either your partner's anus or vagina.
You can use a small douche, easily available on-line from sex stores, to wash out any small particles of shit which may be residing in the rectum - or you can just ignore this and accept you may connect with some shit, and wash it off later. Obviously, latex gloves are another alterative.
The chief reason, in our view, to use a douche is to avoid the rather unpleasant smell that comes from feces when it meets semen.
There is also the possibility that penetrating your partner may trigger a reflex reaction that causes them to need to evacuate their bowel: this is simply a matter of getting accustomed to having something go up the rectum instead of down. Nature really designed the anus as a one way street, but you can introduce two-way traffic if you do it slowly and gently.
A great way to get comfortable with the whole idea of anal sex is to wash in the shower before you play - as you do so, run your finger around the inside of your anus to make sure it's clean. After that, be relaxed, and avoid any cross contamination or mouth or vaginal contact, and you'll be fine.
So here, for the sake of our conscience and completeness, is the standard warning you see about anal sex: don't put anything in the vagina or the mouth that you have inserted into the anus, so that you can avoid transferring any bacteria or hepatitis viruses. If you're a man and you enjoy anal sex without a condom - and please do that only when you genuinely know your partner's sexual history, and you know they have not got HIV or and STD - then piss as soon as you can after sex to help avoid any urethral infections.
An unexpected benefit of anal sex is that anal stimulation can be so intense that it may add enough excitement to sex for a man who has delayed ejaculation that he is actually able to reach orgasm and ejaculate.
Although this is a rather new and different approach to dealing with delayed ejaculation, I have heard from several men for whom it has worked! If you want to try it, just get your partner to stimulate you with a finger on or inside the anus as you get more aroused. Try and find the type of stimulation which turns you on the most, so it will help you reach orgasm and ejaculate - this might even include prostate massage.
Anal sex - the sexual positions best suited for anal penetration
There's no big deal to anal penetration. Like vaginal sex, you simply have to find the position that makes it all possible! Some variation of the missionary or conventional man on top sex position may well be the easiest position to start, although rear entry sex is another possibility.
If you try rear entry sex, then you need to make sure that you are at the right height to enter your partner's anus, and also that you are positioned at the right angle for penetration.
However, we are moving ahead too fast. Very few novices who are trying anal sex for the first time will be able to enjoy penile penetration the first time they try it. You need to experiment with finger penetration of your partner's anus first before you do anything else, so that you can get comfortable with the new sensations and learn to enjoy them.
It has already been observed that in side-Iying postures of this kind, the man's penis is within reach of the woman's nearer hand, and she is able to masturbate him while he pleasures her, and to press or lightly claw with her fingertips under his testicles ("spider-clawing"), to titillate his perineum, or insert her finger or thumb into his anus - the so-called "postillioning" - to massage his prostate gland, or in any other way to excite his genitals, to the point of his orgasm or not, as may be desired.
The man, meanwhile, aside from giving cunnilingus to the woman, which should in general be done without long pauses, is able at the same time to lift her near thigh over his arm or shoulder, and to reach up around it to caress her closest breast and nipple while he rests his weight on his other forearm.
Of this, the hand will simultaneously fall in perfect position to titillate the woman both vaginally or anally, while his tongue and mouth press against the upper part of her vulva; or to reach past his own face, or all the way around the woman's far thigh, to excite her clitoris.
It is not hard to understand that the simultaneity of all these approaches to, and titillations of the woman's erotic body by the man, bring her to a great deal higher pitch of excitement, or quality of orgasm ultimately, than simple and uncombined cunnilingus can do.
Such an alternative to ordinary sex is a great opportunity for men who cannot stop premature ejaculation to avoid the difficulty of rapid ejaculation. Because of the many oral and manual excitations possible to each of the partners simultaneously in these kneeling and side-lying cunnilingus postures, they are favorites of many men and women who are much given to cunnilingus.
They have also the advantage - and it is for this reason that they have been described at this point and at such length - of being very easy to move or progress from, into the ordinary sex positions for lovemaking.
Anal sex needs lots of lubrication
Lubrication is very necessary for anal sex. Whether you are playing inside your partner's body or outside, you need lubrication. When you're outside, for example when you're massaging your partner's anus, you can just use saliva.
But as soon as you start to play around with penetration, you need a good quality lube such as olive oil or massage oil, or a commercial sex lube, for example Probe or Astroglide.
Unfortunately, oil, despite its enjoyable slippery properties, will quickly render a latex condom useless, so you can only use oil as a lube for any kind of sex if you know your partner well and you're in a relationship where there is no possibility of HIV or STI transmission.
Water-based lubricants such as Astroglide or Probe can be restored to full slipperiness when they dry out by the addition of a little water. Always, always, when you're going into the anus, where there is no natural lube, use as much artificial lube as you need to be comfortable - anal sex should not be painful or even uncomfortable if you're both going to enjoy it.
Add a generous dose of lube and then some more - and always be ready to use more if your partner expresses discomfort. Having said that, as you may already know, too much lube reduces friction to the point where there can be no sensation, and in my experience some lubes actually numb sensation anyway, so you may need to experiment to find the ideal solution for you and your partner.
Warning - if you do not use plenty of lube, you risk anal fissures. This is painful, to say the least. In addition, if you do not observe the most stringent hygiene precautions, you risk bacterial vaginitis of yeast infections. This is especially likely if material from a woman's rectum is transferred to her vagina. You could check out his comprehensively designed new site to find out about these issues and how to alleviate yeast infection - click here.
The first step - playing around outside your partner's anus with a finger
This is something that almost all couples will have tried at some point, but if you haven't yet, then it is certainly going to be your first step on the road to anal pleasure. Most people can do this without finding it in any way offensive.
You should wash before anal sex play so as to ensure that both your anus and your partner's is clean - after that, you're pretty much free to enjoy finger play and even anal-oral contact (analingus) without any danger of unpleasant smells or tastes.
Besides which a woman's anus is close enough to her vagina means that most men have probably seen it and even played with it during sex already. This means it's only a small increment to your sex life to add anal play.
If you still find the idea of anal sex difficult, you may find it best to wait until you are both sexually aroused before approaching the anus: some of the more unusual sexual practices - in which I suppose we must include anal sex - can be much easier to enjoy when you are aroused than when you are contemplating them in the cold light of day, so to speak!
Even so, don't suddenly try to insert your finger or your erect penis into your partner's anus without warning her (or him!) first!
If your ability to enjoy sex is limited by erection problems, or you cannot get an erection at all during sex, you may have erectile dysfunction. This problem, thought of as intractable, can be addressed with the right treatments: indeed, no matter what kind of erection problem you have there is always something you can do to resolve the problem or at least lessen its severity.
For men (and women doing it to their man)
Men do tend to find the idea, if not the actuality, of anal sex very exciting. so you need to respect your partner's reservations. Being penetrated up the ass can be exciting, but it must be done gently, and if she really doesn't want to try it, you'd be best advised to let the matter drop - there are plenty of other sexual pleasures you can enjoy together.
That said, if she is willing, start your finger play by moving your well-lubed finger tip around her anal sphincter (the ring of muscle surrounding her anus) in gentle circles before you move gently into the the center of her anus.
Try to use different pressures and vary the direction of the strokes so that you give her a variety of exciting feelings - if you use a gentle touch, it will feel much more erotic and exciting.
To ensure that the recipient of this anal pleasure does not get bored, keep varying the movements, using both fast and slow movements as well as gentle and more firm pressure. Your partner's anus will respond to touch in various ways - it will either relax and open slightly at the center, or it will respond by tightening up.
If the latter happens, you may want to ask your partner to relax and accept the feelings she (or he!) is having, and perhaps also to consciously decide that they are going to let go and relax and enjoy what happens.
They may well be worrying about penetration and fearing that it will be painful, so you may want to reassure them that you won't force your way into them, and they can stop the process at any time.
Massaging the area around your partner's anus, or the anus itself, without trying to penetrate them, is a great way of increasing confidence and enjoying anal pleasure.
A lot of men and women have a great deal of tension in this area of the body; and a relaxed anus is a sign of a relaxed body, so this kind of play can be very therapeutic in unexpected ways (it can help you relax)! Deep breathing is also a good way to relax.
And of course a very good way to get used to anal pleasure is to massage your own anus! You can use a finger tip to do this, in the bath or shower if you have worries about hygiene, or you can pleasure yourself with a little anal contact as you masturbate. You can even clench and relax your anus to get used to the various states of tension it expresses - and this will also help you learn to consciously relax it when it is being penetrated.
Try inserting a finger up your ass so that you know how it feels - and relax into the experience, so that you can enjoy it for the erotic pleasure it offers.
There should be no discomfort or pain during anal sex
Or indeed during any other kind of sex. So if you are having problems during sex due to some kind of physical ailment, please get the right sort of attention. The most likely culprits include yeast infections, anal warts, bacterial infection of the vagina (vaginitis) or some other kind of problem.
You can find solutions for most of these problems fairly easily - for example, there is plenty of information about yeast infection home remedies on the internet. See, as only one example of this information, the following yeast infection home remedy website. www.curethisproblemnow.com Alternatively, professional medical treatment may be needed - and hopefully you can obtain some treatment which is designed specifically for the ailment from which you are suffering: for example, www.realgerdremedies.com.
Anal sex must not be painful if you or your partner are to enjoy it. More to the point, feeling pain means something is not right. When the anus is relaxed, it will admit a finger and even a penis quite easily. Both the internal and external anal muscles will relax and allow penetration, even if the natural design of the body is for one way traffic.
So if there is pain, just pause and work out what is going wrong. Try to ensure the receptive or passive partner knows they can stop your lovemaking at any point by using a safe word like "STOP" if things get distressing for them. To avoid any discomfort, take it slowly, and in the initial penetration, ensure the passive (receiving) partner can relax and open up as you move your finger or penis gently inside them.
There may be a reflex reaction which feels to the receiving partner like they need to shit. This is possible: if so, stop, and let nature take its course. That will be the end of your anal pleasure for the day, but you can practice penetration with a finger on subsequent occasions so that the reflex reaction becomes less quick to fire off, and the receiving partner learns that penetration does not equal the need to shit.
The bigger the object entering the body, the more likely the receiver is to feel a need to defecate, but as with all sexual pleasures, practice makes perfect!
Bear in mind that the lining of the rectum is pretty sensitive, and thinner than the muscular walls of the vagina. So if you enter the anus with a finger, use the soft fleshy part to massage inside your partner's body, and ensure you have trimmed your nails!
Finger penetration - the first step to anal intercourse
Ok, if you want to penetrate with a finger, you could use latex gloves for hygiene, although in my mind these remove some of the intimacy between partners. If these things really bother you, just have some wet wipes ready to clean up - if there is any shit on your finger when you come out - or use a small douche bag before enjoying anal pleasure, as we described above.
A cloth is useful anyway, since you may want to wipe up excess lube which you have used to massage your partner's anus and liberally spread over your finger or penis before you start your play. (Lube your penis when you get to the stage of trying anal penetration with your cock). Now, how do you penetrate the anus?
There are two muscles rings around the anal canal, one on the outside of the body and one inside (the internal and external sphincters - see the diagram for the whereabouts of these). The anal canal is, of course, the short passage that connects your anus to your rectum.
These two sphincters are only a half inch or so apart, but you both need to be relaxed before you can enter the rectum, and they can - as you may already know - clamp tightly shut. The external muscle will relax more easily than the internal one, which often clamps shut if you are feeling anxious or fearful about penetration.
This is why physical and mental relaxation is the key to successful anal sex.
The best way for anyone to insert a finger into their partner's anus
When your partner is getting aroused, begin to gently probe their anal opening with a finger tip - bear in mind that you should have already lubed everything. Make sure you ask your partner if they are enjoying it, and if they are OK with what you are doing as you progress.
Opening up for anal penetration can be a very intimate act, so respect the fact that you are being given the opportunity to enter someone's body in this way. Stroke and massage around the anal opening, giving your partner time to relax into the feelings. When you both are ready, find the center of the anus and press gently into it with your fingertip, while your partner relaxes and allows your finger into their body.
This is usually best done as a conscious choice - an act of decision to allow the finger to enter. You may wish to gently move your finger back and forth - you should find that your finger goes further into your partner's body each time and then easily slides through into their rectum.
I'm inside my partner's anus! What do I do now?
Well, let's look at this from two points of view:
Man in woman
Use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris and vulva at the same time as you gently massage the G spot and other sensitive areas inside her vagina with one finger. At the same time, play with her anus, her anal canal and gently on the wall of her rectum with another of your fingers.
If you massage the wall of her rectum closest to her vagina, you may find that you can convey exciting feelings through to her vagina. Of course, we need to re-emphasize the warning not to put a finger that has been up her anus into her vagina.
Woman in man
Well, the best thing a woman can do for a man (see here for sex advice for gay men) is to massage the prostate gland. This can produce exquisite sensations, though it may take a man a few sessions of anal penetration to get used to the idea and actually enjoy the sensations.
(This is rather like the way women have to get used to the sensation of having their G spot massaged.) The diagram below shows you where all the parts are!
If a man is lying on his back, the best way to massage his prostate is to hook a finger slightly upwards when you have penetrated his anus, and massage it with a fingertip.
Be careful, though, because the exact amount of pressure you need to use to give a man maximum pleasure is something you can only establish by experience, so start gently and work harder as he expresses his pleasure. Try different movements of your fingertip: circles, strokes, pressure - be adventurous, and enjoy what you are doing!
Male sacred spot massage, something you may have come across in Tantric sex, is about massage of the prostate through the wall of the rectum. It can produce greatly extended feelings of sexual pleasure and massive rolling orgasms without ejaculation in some men. If you're into this, try massaging different spots on the wall of the rectum and see how it feels, with and without an erection.
Move your finger over as large an area of the rectal wall as you can until you've located the best spot for him. Moans of sexual pleasure are a good clue that you've found the right spot!
As you may know, much of the semen that a man produces is made in the prostate gland. When you massage a man's prostate you will encourage the production of more semen, adding greatly to the power and force of his eventual ejaculation.
A man's ejaculate may taste different and be much more runny after prostate massage - so it may make oral sex to orgasm (with a finger on the man's prostate at the same time) a more pleasant experience, perhaps enabling you to swallow his semen if you normally find the taste unpleasant.
Oral play during anal sex - called analingus
You either like the idea of analingus or you don't. But then again, when you are sexually aroused, and you have your partner's butt in your face, you may find that your inhibitions go out of the window, and you can enjoy anal-oral contact without worrying about it.
Great! So if you approach your partner's anus gently, and lick from the outside to the centre of the anal muscles, you may get a response ranging from a sigh to greater whole body relaxation as she (or he) moves into a place of acceptance and enjoyment.
There's no doubt that the hot moistness of a tongue on one's anus can feel good, and a substantial number of couples will enjoy this form of sexual contact on a regular basis. It's naughty, it's intimate, it's loving and arousing - a most intimate sexual act - and, more than anything else, it feels good!
You can employ a light flicking motion of your tongue, or you can use a more forceful probing action with your tongue to enter into your partner's anus.
Another nice possibility is to press the whole of your tongue against the whole area of the anus, or to lick and nibble on your partner's perineum.
For men, a general piece of advice is to pay attention to your partner's clitoris at the same time, so that her sexual arousal continues to grow as you stimulate her.
Anal intercourse - the man enjoys anal sex with the woman
The easiest anal sexual intercourse position is either rear entry or a variation of the missionary, man on top sex position. Have the woman lying on her back, legs spread and knees up towards her chest so that her man can reach her anus easily.
A pillow under her bottom may help considerably to let the man enter her easily. If you decide to try rear entry sex, have the woman supported on her chest so she doesn't get tired, and have her extend her legs outwards and backwards so that her anus is easy to get to.
For your first attempts at anal sex, another good position to start with is the side by side sex position: the woman's legs should in what is called the scissors position - you can see all these positions illustrated in the anal sex pictures. For more general advice on the female orgasm, you may find the information on this website about the G spot and female orgasm to be very helpful.
And finally, if you like the sense of dominance and being taken which can come from this powerful form of sexual intercourse, have the woman lying face down with her legs apart while the man lies on top of her and takes her from above and behind.
It's a good idea to enjoy your first attempts at anal intercourse when you are sexually aroused and sexually excited. Keep a cool head, though, around matters such as condoms, lube and hygiene!
Start with a finger in the way we described above, and move onto anal sex with your penis only when you are both happy and relaxed with digital penetration. Being relaxed, enjoying what you are doing, and having a light-hearted attitude will all help enormously in having successful anal sex.
So begin by having a look at your target! You need to know exactly where you are going in, since approaching at even a slight angle off to one side will probably prevent successful penetration. If you try and get the angle of penetration right by just pushing your penis in the general direction of your partner's anus, you may well end up missing altogether.
Whether or not your partner helps you find the way in, you must also use your own hand to direct your penis towards its target. Have her say this out loud as you press the end of your penis into her anal opening: "I welcome your penis/cock into my ass/body. My body is open to you, relaxed and allows you to enter easily."
A good indication of how much resistance you can expect as you enter your partner is the force you needed to push your finger into her anus. This is because her anus will be able to accommodate your penis as easily as it accommodated your finger - if she is relaxed. The fact that this is so is demonstrated by the pictures of anal sex, some of which show a relaxed anus, gaping open even after the penis has been withdrawn.
A great way to ease your entry into your partner's anus is to use a slight pumping or thrusting motion - a slight back and forth movement of the penis, pressing forward, then retreating, pressing forward, then retreating.....and so on, all using lots of lube. The sensation as your cock enters your partner may be unusual - after all, this is not like vaginal sex! - but hopefully it will be erotic and enjoyable.
To be fully enjoyable, though, your partner has to be relaxed and you have to be well-lubed. A man who has a small, acorn-like cock head, rather than a bulbous one, stands a better chance of getting into his partner's ass more easily. (Descriptions and pictures of penis shape and size can be found here.)
Insignificant cuts and tears in the tissues of the anal area are not unusual when you have anal sex - don't panic! But this is a good reason to use a strong condom, unless you are 100% certain of your partner's sexual history. Even then, you may still wish to use a condom, since it prevents contact with fecal matter. Use a non-pre-lubricated condom and apply lots of artificial lubricant.
Before we go any further, let's talk for a moment about sexual dysfunctions. They can happen with anal intercourse just as much as with any other form of sexual activity. Should you happen to suffer from premature ejaculation, you can learn how to stop coming so quickly and control your rapid ejaculation here.
So - assuming you have gone slowly, and gently, you will probably now be deep inside your lover, connected in a very special way.
Anal sex is a privilege for a man - I think it demands a lot of a woman, and it can be a real test of trust. Having said that, many women do enjoy it, and it can become a regular feature of a couple's sex life.
So once you've both got used to it, and she is able to relax sufficiently to let her anus admit you and accommodate your thrusting, what do you do next? I guess you try other positions that will allow you to kiss, fondle and hold each other while you are inside her.
One example would be to have the woman on top while she straddles you. And a position where the man can thrust gently and intermittently so as to extend the time before he comes, while he can reach her vagina and massage her G spot and clit with his fingers.
This could be helpful in allowing a couple to reach simultaneous orgasm - it's certainly worth a try. We actually promote the view that all women should know how to have an orgasm during sex, regardless of whether or not they have ever had an orgasm before: we also believe that simultaneous orgasm is well within all couples' sexual aspirations.
There's little doubt that simultaneous orgasm can greatly increase sexual pleasure and satisfaction, although it is probably stretching things too far to say that this is a route to the best sex you ever had!
What of anal sex positions? After you have tried the doggy style (aka rear entry), the more relaxing but perhaps less raunchy side by side sex positions, the exciting and empowering woman lying on her back with the man above, you can try a whole variety of variations on the theme - just about all the anal sex positions you could ever imagine are illustrated in the photos on this website.
In fact, the positions for anal sex are not very different to those you would employ for normal vaginal sex: they need slight adjustments like having the woman's legs further apart.
Anal intercourse - woman penetrates her male partner anally
If you're feeling really adventurous, why not try some role reversal? A woman can penetrate her male lover with a dildo, a strap-on penis.
Now, should you still be reading this page, the major point of anal penetration with a dildo for men (just as with a finger) is the stimulation of the prostate, which can feel great!
There is much more to it, of course, not least the fact that it provides the opportunity to experiment with role reversal and power play in a relationship. But even if you're not into that, the sensitive area of tissue that represents the prostate is conveniently located so that you can enjoy some anal thrusting, albeit with a dildo, and experience the pleasure of erotic sensations around the whole pelvic area.
This may even bring you to the edge of orgasm, and if not, it may at least make your orgasm much more powerful when it does occur, whether through masturbation or fellatio.
You may also have observed that allowing your lover to fuck you up the ass is a pretty clear statement that you are a real man - one who is secure enough to allow the idea of role reversal and anal thrusting by your partner.
It can also be very exciting for a woman who wishes to know what it feels like to thrust into her lover. You may even get some new ideas about relationships, power and the roles of men and women.
What's more, if you get a dildo with the right kind of construction, you may find that a woman can fuck her man while stimulating her own clitoris, which can lead to big orgasms for both partners! if you want to try this, go to a sex shop online and buy the equipment: a slim silicon dildo and a strap-on harness for the female partner to wear.
Also make sure you get hold of the DVD or video of Bend Over Boyfriend - this entertaining romp through the realms of sex play will provide all the information and sex advice you need to have a great time butt fucking each other!
If you want to know more about anal sex, with man or woman as penetrator, then some amusing and frank accounts can be found here: 10 bad sex experiences There are many great places to get sex information on the web.
All kinds of sexual information for couples can be found on Sex In Human Loving, which features essays on many aspects of human sexuality and sexual relationships.
Male sexual dysfunction includes premature ejaculation, which you can get help for from Lloyd Lester's excellent web program - Ejaculation By Command - which is reviewed here - as you most likely know, the most common male sexual problem, and one which occurs in about one man in three in the average population.
The second most widespread male sexual dysfunction is believed to be erectile dysfunction, which can do more to strike at the heart of a man's self-esteem than almost anything else in the arena of human sexuality.